My Silent Bob

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Robert R. Siefert, Jr. March 12, 1951 – January 31, 2020

On January 31, 2020 around 10 pm, my husband passed on to Paradise. If I was a Bible scholar I could quote scriptures that would give you the descriptions that define how all this after life stuff works, but I’m not. And even in the verses and theology I do know and the knowledge I pray to gain, there are some things that aren’t completely clear to us. I think they aren’t supposed to be. BUT! My heart, my head, my soul, knows this: my Silent Bob is in a place where my Jake is and where I’ll be one day, as well as my John and Josh and Mother and Dad…and a lot of the people I care about … and people I pray for … well you get the idea. Because in the end, I’m talking about Heaven. 
The mystery I do understand more each day is that how ever the physical part of this world ends, the spiritual part, which surely includes love, remains here and ‘there’. The love that I have, the love that God has for me, the promise of Jesus’ sacrifice and his bodily resurrection are so well cemented in my heart and head, that I can give over to it’s truth at any moment and it soothes my grief. More than that, it offers comfort and peace where there should be none. And, my Silent Bob’s love still surrounds me. And mine for him.
Silent Bob (and he loved that nickname) died in St. Louis at his sister’s Judy’s house. And I think that my Josh said it best, his heart finally just gave out. He was a man with a big, (what I like to call) abiding heart, but a physically very sick one. You’d never have known it though. He didn’t complain, he looked twenty years younger than he was, and he played a total of 14 rounds of golf in the month of January, scoring more than once an honest 85.
Bob passed on at a time when he was the happiest that I have known him. For all the sacrifice and hard work to support his family for many decades and the toll that it took, of which he was proud and honored to do, he loved his retirement. Truly, honestly loved it. And with all the stories that husbands and wives tell about getting used to each other once retirement is the norm, I’d suggest downloading “Anylist” to both of your smart phones. (Feel free to ask me about this when you hug my neck next time.) It was the source of a lot of laughter, confusion, communication (duh, Silent Bob), help and problem solving. Yes. It is an app about grocery shopping. Life sometimes really is about the little things.
We will have a remembrance service at the Lanier Stone Chapel, February 18th 2020 at 10:30 am. If you have an inclination to come and share in the celebration of God’s good gift to us of a faithful husband, a loving father, an abiding son-in-law, son, brother and uncle, please do. We celebrate him, where he is now, the future of seeing him again, and his continuing love. Praise God.
I cannot end this without saying a word about my Men, my sons. My Johnathan and my Josh have stepped in gaps that quite frankly I was afraid I had no idea how to fill. They have mourned and grieved but have combined their unique own set of talents, gifts, and personalities to be God’s hands and feet for me at this time. Their instinct and tenderness humbles me, touches me, awes me as they are true gifts from God to me. And I suspect my Jake, in however that afterlife works, is interceding in ways that Jesus is orchestrating. Just for me.
We love flowers and should you want to bring a packet of seeds out to our farm and plant them in Silent Bob’s garden, feel free. I would love that. But in lieu of flowers, we also know Silent Bob would love this: there were three charities that were very close to Bob’s heart.
St. Mary’s Medical Center Foundation, Grand Junction Colorado (these people waived all of Jake’s medical bills when it became clear he had no insurance. He’s not the only one they show this grace to.) 
In memo line write, in memory of Jacob Siefert’s Dad, Robert.
The Jake Siefert Corp of Cadet Chaplain Scholarship described here. This scholarship supports a TAMU Corp Champlain each semester in Jake’s honor. Write check to: Texas A&M Foundation, 401 George Bush Drive, College Station, Texas 77840-2811. In the memo line write, Jacob Samuel Siefert
Mighty Oaks Foundation, for veterans, by veterans, a truly Christ centered healing process for sufferers of PTSD  In memo line write in memory of Robert R, Siefert Jr.

35 Responses

  1. Oh Janet, we grieve with and for you and your sons. I plan to attend the Memorial. Let me know if I can usher or help in any way at all.

  2. Love your words about Silent Bob. We are not retired yet but we have used Anylist. I need to hear that story.

  3. Beautifully written. And literally I just got online to send you message asking about where to send donations.

  4. Dearest Janet, a beautiful tribute to your love. “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.” Num. 6:24-26

  5. Janet – shocked to hear of Bob’s passing.
    Please accept our sincerest condolences.
    He was a great friend and loved every minute we spent together. I am on the
    Road on the 18th, but will celebrate his
    Promotion. Jerry J….

  6. Janet,
    I am saddened to read that Bob has died. He was such an extension of you and the boys. His dry sense of humor will continue on through the memories of his Silent Bob quips.
    If I’m able, I’ll offer whatever services you need.

  7. Dearest Janet,
    We are holding you and yours in our prayers and know that our Savior will hold you tightly in His arms and give you all strength and peace.
    Rita and Joe

  8. Janet,
    Your words are so true about Bob and your boys. They strike so many notes and memories of years of enjoying his humor and just love of life, family and friends. We pray daily for you and know that we are being heard. We love you all so much. I can help you do whatever you need, if it is just running to the cleaners, you know what I mean. Life in the grace of God goes on. Jan

  9. Your words are so well written. May your heart be filled with many sweet memories. Hope to give you a hug soon! Love to you.

  10. We certainly appreciated getting to know you and Silent Bob on trips to the Lanier Library a number of years back. We always considered those times special. I still read your Blogs but don’t comment. So thankful for knowing you both. Mary Ellen and John Lawlor. Grand Rapids, Mi then but now retired in Northeastern PA.

  11. Dear Janet,
    You said it right. Even though your years together on earth with Silent Bob are over, your time together in Heaven, reuniting with Jake, will come. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thought during this time of grieving. You are loved. God bless you.

  12. My heart hurts for you. I’ve been praying for you and your sons for days, since I first heard, and will continue. I know the Lord will answer everyone’s prayers, and mine, and will bless you going forward. You know this too, and you know I love you.

  13. Janet,
    Your love of Bob is a beautiful example of God’s love.
    Thank you for sharing your love with us through your writing.
    Prayers for you and your wonderful sons.
    Marcia (Lester) Miles

  14. This is a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing your heart. We love your kind family & pray for you all during this time.

  15. Janet I am so sorry to hear this. May Silent Bob rest in peace. You both raised good men together, and I am glad that you have Jonathan and Josh by your side at this time. Your writing is so beautiful. So eloquent and touching, even in the toughest times. I love reading your words. Sending all the love and good thoughts your way. Big hug amiga!

  16. What a terrible loss, Janet! I saw the subject line and was filled with dread. Be assured of sympathies and thoughts and prayers flowing from Canada. May light eternal shine on Bob and may peace and love carry you through this season of grief.

  17. Dear Janet,

    From Jerusalem, Israel we send our condoleances about the passing away of your Silent Bob.
    Emanuel and I have fond memories of him. We only met him once at your farm when you invited us together with some friends that were working at the Lanier Library. He showed us the farm grounds and we were impressed with his energy and love for the nature. We hope you will find the strength to continue your life with the love of all your dear ones.
    Lika and Emanuel Tov

  18. Janet, I grieve with you and your wonderful family.You can truly believe that God knows what He is doing with his plans, even if His ways are sometimes obscured and unfathomable. Ours is not to ‘know’ or to understand. Ours is to believe. For God has our best interests in His heart. He will hold your hand and walk with you. He, too, loves Bob and has prepared a place for him. – and yes, I believe Jake is right beside them both!
    I’m so sorry!

  19. We were privileged to have shared many good times with Bob, and some tears as well. We played bridge together – just learning the game. Sitting around the campfire, tastings in Wimberley, taking him to see his beloved Cardinals play the Astros, and on and on. He was not a complainer, even though some of his jobs were demanding. Even though he was quiet, he was knowledgeable about so many things and as smart as can be. He also had a sense of humor that often came out in simple one-liners. He was a good man. We loved Bob and he will be sorely missed.

  20. He was a riot! His sense of humor, his sly smile and his wry jokes always made me laugh. So fitting that the last time I saw him he was in his bunny rabbit costume at your life master party. I have so many memories of the four of us together with your mother and Bob saying the MOST outlandish things, none of which she could hear, while the rest of us tried to keep straight faces since there is nothing wrong with her vision and we didn’t want to give it away! Ireland with the two of you remains one of our very best trips, largely because of his daily one liners, e.g., “I now believe there are 237 shades of green in Ireland because I have counted them.” We loved him, loved being with him, and look forward to seeing him again. I pray for you and your family in this difficult time and send our love to you all.

  21. Janet, I just want to let you know how sorry I am for your loss. I know there are no words to express it, but please know that I pray for you and your sons to continue feeling Bob’s love. I also pray that you feel Christ’s love embracing you all.
    Susan Peltier

  22. His enjoyment of golf was infectious, His skill at cards was understated, but his skill at the backyard grill was renound! When he spoke, there was a quiet confidence, that invited the the listener to pay attention or miss a carefully crafted barb or insight. He will be missed by many.

  23. Dear Janet, there are no better words than yours. I know it took a lot to write them, but so many who loved Silent Bob needed to hear them. We are all grieving with you and wish we could something to ease yours, but that is impossible. It’s comforting to us that you know that God is with you, that Jake and Bob rest in the arms of Jesus, and that you will enjoy Heaven with them some day when your work here is done. I know that Bob’s and Jake’s loving arms are around you and Josh and Jonathan and will be as long as you need them.

  24. He was super fun to play with and even funnier that I played with him by pure coincidence without either of us connecting janet to the puzzle until he got home after our round. You are in my prayers.

  25. Janet
    Please accept David’s and my condolences.
    Your post made me cry. This is one of the hardest transitions to face.
    I am glad that Bob was happy.. that is the best that anyone can hope for when their time comes.
    Hugs from David and me.


  26. Praying for you, Janet, that Jesus will continue to wrap His comforting arms around your grieving heart.
    Ron and Julie

  27. Janet,
    Even though I never met you, I feel like I know you somewhat. Bobby called me and told me about the accident with your son. I knew Bob before you did, but you knew the real Bob. I am so glad he had you. I could never give him the love you showered him with. It sounds as if you two were perfect together.
    I have been lucky to have my husband , Rich for 47 years now. He has suffered through five different cancers these past 15 years and I am afraid I don’t know how I will handle when he goes to the Lord. We have 2 sons, 43 and 40. I do know I will be able to count on my youngest son, Jon to be by my side. He never married. My oldest son has 3 boys and is divorced.
    I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a wonderful marriage and I am happy you had your special love. Cynthia Schubert LoGalbo

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