On January 31, 2020 around 10 pm, my husband passed on to Paradise. If I was a Bible scholar I could quote scriptures that would give you the descriptions that define how all this after life stuff works, but I’m not. And even in the verses and theology I do know and the knowledge I pray to gain, there are some things that aren’t completely clear to us. I think they aren’t supposed to be. BUT! My heart, my head, my soul, knows this: my Silent Bob is in a place where my Jake is and where I’ll be one day, as well as my John and Josh and Mother and Dad…and a lot of the people I care about … and people I pray for … well you get the idea. Because in the end, I’m talking about Heaven.
The mystery I do understand more each day is that how ever the physical part of this world ends, the spiritual part, which surely includes love, remains here and ‘there’. The love that I have, the love that God has for me, the promise of Jesus’ sacrifice and his bodily resurrection are so well cemented in my heart and head, that I can give over to it’s truth at any moment and it soothes my grief. More than that, it offers comfort and peace where there should be none. And, my Silent Bob’s love still surrounds me. And mine for him.
Silent Bob (and he loved that nickname) died in St. Louis at his sister’s Judy’s house. And I think that my Josh said it best, his heart finally just gave out. He was a man with a big, (what I like to call) abiding heart, but a physically very sick one. You’d never have known it though. He didn’t complain, he looked twenty years younger than he was, and he played a total of 14 rounds of golf in the month of January, scoring more than once an honest 85.
Bob passed on at a time when he was the happiest that I have known him. For all the sacrifice and hard work to support his family for many decades and the toll that it took, of which he was proud and honored to do, he loved his retirement. Truly, honestly loved it. And with all the stories that husbands and wives tell about getting used to each other once retirement is the norm, I’d suggest downloading “Anylist” to both of your smart phones. (Feel free to ask me about this when you hug my neck next time.) It was the source of a lot of laughter, confusion, communication (duh, Silent Bob), help and problem solving. Yes. It is an app about grocery shopping. Life sometimes really is about the little things.
We will have a remembrance service at the Lanier Stone Chapel, February 18th 2020 at 10:30 am. If you have an inclination to come and share in the celebration of God’s good gift to us of a faithful husband, a loving father, an abiding son-in-law, son, brother and uncle, please do. We celebrate him, where he is now, the future of seeing him again, and his continuing love. Praise God.
I cannot end this without saying a word about my Men, my sons. My Johnathan and my Josh have stepped in gaps that quite frankly I was afraid I had no idea how to fill. They have mourned and grieved but have combined their unique own set of talents, gifts, and personalities to be God’s hands and feet for me at this time. Their instinct and tenderness humbles me, touches me, awes me as they are true gifts from God to me. And I suspect my Jake, in however that afterlife works, is interceding in ways that Jesus is orchestrating. Just for me.
We love flowers and should you want to bring a packet of seeds out to our farm and plant them in Silent Bob’s garden, feel free. I would love that. But in lieu of flowers, we also know Silent Bob would love this: there were three charities that were very close to Bob’s heart.