I am the mother of three sons. Of all of the jobs I have had, I count motherhood the one that filled my heart with unquestioning love and the purest heartache. My oldest son was killed in a tragic accident in 2005. It almost broke my heart in two. Maybe it in fact did. And then on January 31, 2020, after 18 rounds of golf to start the new year, my husband of 45 years passed to Paradise. I have something to say about all of this.