Part 3 – Boots
I am hoping its not too late notice to ask for special orders. You might remember that I had asked you some time bach for a very practical, quite comfortable, and locally available pair of boots, specifically Ariat Black Zip Paddock Boots (please see picture in case someone else might have these on their list), knowing they would look quite nice under my jeans. I figured you might appreciate the practicality of my choice.
However, totally without any responsibility on my part, I have been unduly influenced by a movie and a movie star in said movie, who wore throughout most of the important parts of the movie (like when her hunky love interest was looking at her from behind or maybe was looking at her behind, heck, I think he even patted her behind) she wore a pair of very high heels, that had, quite spectacularly, red soles.
Subsequently, I have become obsessed with owning a pair of said heels.
Having spent hours on Google, the bottom line is if the Devil wears Prada, then me, your red soled fanatic, is apparently all about Louboutin…
I’m thinking it’s just a down right magnificent obsession. Mr. Louboutin apparently had me at hello. He wants me to look sexy, he wants my legs to look long, and he wants me to be beautiful. Give up on those Nikes that round your bottom and pump your calves into ballerina shape. Those things probably never worked. It’s all about energy, which explains completely what I was feeling from that movie. Christian, feeling the need for his shoes to have more energy, and finding a handy bottle of laquerishy red nailpolish… well he did what any creative genius would do. Between heels that are guaranteed to make even short legged women have longer legs (4 inch stilettos just might manage to make me appear taller) and those shiny red soles… well its clear to me when I walk away, if it’s not my butt someone is going to look at, then those red soles ought to get them looking and thinking and saying, “now that old woman, she’s got ENERGY… I’m talking E-N-E-R-G-Y.”
Yeah that’s what they are going to say.
I have just one question before making this request official: do you have a dollar limit on gifts because if there is… well, these heels… they may have gone just a little, teensy bit over what your budget might tolerate… given that you are into global gift distribution and there are after all over 6,888,900,000 people in the world you need to get to …
I tell you what, Santa. While I do fully believe that my legs would be oh so much longer in the classic Greissimo pump it’s going to be a little bit difficult to get on the tractor with them.
If you don’t tell Chris, because he’s got a patent on the whole red soled thing… and you can find enough nail polish…
Well, you know where I’m going with this….
Just leave a little note in Silent Bob’s stocking, telling him to make sure he mentions just how cute my butt looks with red soled boots, saucily walking away from him while I energetically clean out the chicken coop.
Thanks Santa. And Merry Christmas.