It all started with excess appliances at the farm. It’s easy in this life to accumulate too much, it’s had too get rid of all the stuff we acquire once we don’t need it, want it or it’s lost its value or gotten old. It’s even harder in a country place where trash pickup is not an option.
The initial inventory of that old farm yard revealed it was a veritable junkyard of freezers and washers and other metal manufactured goods.
Weeds and rats and slinky things had crawled in and through the rusting junk as rain and winter took their toll on them as they sat in the fields or barn of the old place.
They looked like havens for coiled copperheads or black widow spiders, who having done away with mates, were on the lookout for juicy fingers or hands. Once the decision was made to move these heaps of metal to the ever growing junk pile in the drive the only thing that remained was how to get them there. Every weekend a few more were added to the pile, and for lack of attention, I never knew how they got there or who engineered their arrival. I was just relieved it was happening.
By the time I got around to participating in large appliance removal, there were only two items left: a large chest freezer that sat covered in pinestraw and poison ivy, near the barn, vault-like and scary for what its inside might reveal and a large upright freezer that contained a variety of aquarium parts and metal shelving, minus its door. These two items were on the list of to do must do’s for the weekend and because everyone seemed to be legitimately occupied in valuable activities but me, I went around and took a look at the chest freezer.
Puzzling, I considered what I might have to do to get it approximately fifty yards from where it had set for years to the new trash heap. I pulled on it. There were no hand holds anywhere and its size made my arm length ineffective in applying much strength to movement. I thought about pushing it. It was mired on the pushing end in long dead leaves where surely rats, snakes and spider dwelt. Fifty yards was looking like a really long way to push or pull a chest freezer by myself.
Then the really good idea hit.
I had seen a heavy linked chain that hung from the barn ceiling that sported large, aggressive looking hooks on either end. Visions of past tow truck rescues flashed in my mind.
Josh’s Ford pickup sat in the driveway, near the junk pile.
It didn’t take long to get the Ford backed up to within two feet of the chest freezer. Remembering my observation that tow truck drivers always secure the hooks of chains around the chain itself, I copied their maneurvers. I carefully secured one end of the chain to the pick up trailer hitch and then considered the best place for attachment on the freezer. It took a while, but lifting the freezer off the ground a bit, a nice secure link could be made to a support bar just underneath its bottom.
Watching in the rear view mirror, I pulled the chain taut with my foot on the accelerator, and inched a bit forward. Then, a bit more and to my amazement, the freezer began smoothly edging away from the barn, old leaves and needles settling into the depression it was leaving. As I picked up speed, the freezer skittered accommodatingly across the ground.. The junk pile was quickly approaching, I had to think fast. How was I going to get this IN the junk pile and not just dragged up by it?
Looking back at the chest freezer that was skiing smoothly behind me, I watched over my shoulder until the freezer was a good 10 feet past the least piled up end of the pile and brought the truck to a stop. There seemed to be no need for care, this was junk I was dealing with, I put the Ford into reverse and may have leaned a bit heavy on the accelerator. The truck lurched into action and I made contact with the freezer at about 10 mph. It took very few seconds to pack that freezer intimately into the junk pile. It was an epiphany for me. Looking down at the edge of the house where Bob and Neil had been working, it was obviously one for them too. There they stood, looks of dumbfoundedness on their faces, their mouths shaped to speechless ‘0’s, incredulity the sole sentiment they were sending my way.
“What?!” I got it here didn’t I?”, I shouted. Shrugging at them and itching to try the upright, I jumped into the driver’s seat, the chain dangling as I left a little rubber on the rocks.
The second freezer was a bit more troublesome.
A word of caution should any of you try this at home: don’t expect a freezer to run smoothly across the ground if you stupidly put the side with the coils down. Bob and Neil came running around the house this time when the pine roots caught the coils and sent the freezer end over end spilling weird colored aquarium rocks from here to kingdom come. They weren’t speechless that time.
Ignoring them, I readjusted and in quicker dispatch than the first trip down had the upright freezer ready for packing into the pile. I may have gotten a bit heady with the power and demolition of backing into appliances. This time I sort of took a running backup start at the whole process. In no time, the freezer was nicely mashed up against the rest of the appliances and I felt… well… spectacularly empowered, almost as if I had found my calling.
If it should turn out that demolition and appliance redistribution is in my future, Neil has suggested a name. I have no intention of telling you what the RB stands for, but RB Vroom Vroom has some cachet to it, don t you think?
Happy Monday, I hope you have a little fun today.
Today’s Quote: We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.” Will Rogers
Today’s Bible verse: “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” NEH 8:10
