For the month of August, announcing, Handsome Cowboy of the month, Mr. John Wright! Just look at those eyes! Look at that smile! Look at that cleft chin! But if that wasn’t enough, he can do this:

1. He can hit a 7-inch bull’s-eye under a mile of water and more than two miles of rock, using a drill bit not much bigger than his two clenched fists.

2. At 56, he is considered the world’s pre-eminent oil well assassin.

3. He is an Aggie, inspired by a lab professor who told him most published technical papers were rubbish “because they did not properly assess the system uncertainties in the variables upon which they draw their conclusions.” He confesses to an obsession with uncertainty.

5. In 83 relief well projects around the world, including the North Sea’s infamous Piper Alpha Platform, which exploded in 1988 and killed 167 men, Wright personally designed and managed 40. Sixteen of them involved blowouts, in places like Brunei and Syria, but also California and Texas. All of his wells were successful.

Any man who has the cool, intelligence and unflappability to become the world’s preeminent specialist in devastating oil well blowouts that threaten my Gulf Coast, HAS to be somebody’s Handsome Cowboy.

Yeah, that’s right.. your mine, John Wright.

PS JW’s phone number: 1.800.BLOWOUT.